Three thirty A.M.
I might as well break my brain
Read Stephen Hawking
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Grow, Fuzz, Grow! March 30, 2018
Sung to the tune of “Go, Cubs, Go!” by Steve Goodman
Having cancer sucks a lot
And I didn’t even get medical pot
Chemo made my hair fall out
But now I’m seeing something sprout
And I’m singin’
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Hey, follicles, whaddya say?
We’re gonna grow some hair today!
I’ve got hats and a wig to wear
But they just can’t match my own hair
I make do, but still I yearn
I just can’t wait ’til it returns
And I’m singin’
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Hey, follicles, whaddya say?
We’re gonna grow some hair today!
There’s more to life than having tresses
But being bald sometimes depresses
So, come on, scalp, I’ll clap and cheer
Come on, make more hair appear!
And I’m singin’
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Hey, follicles, whaddya say?
We’re gonna grow some hair today!
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Grow, fuzz, grow!
Hey, follicles, whaddya say?
We’re gonna grow some hair today!
Come Back to Me March 16, 2018
I took you for granted, and I’m sorry. I hope you realize that I always loved you, even when I complained that you just wouldn’t cooperate. I know I was hard on you. I should have been more understanding. Everyone has bad days now and then. The good days far outweighed the bad in your case. I should have appreciated that more than I did, rather than focusing on those few times when I just couldn’t deal with you. I guess I was frustrated because I cared for you and nurtured you the best I could, but sometimes you just did whatever you wanted, refusing to meet me even halfway. Still, I had it so good with you, and it took the threat of your leaving for me to realize that. By then it was too late. I savored our last days together, sadly knowing there was nothing I could do to make you stay.
You can’t possibly know how much I miss you—not just for your beauty but for your warmth, your soft embrace, the way you protected me, both physically and emotionally. Anything else is a poor substitute. I’ve managed to go on without you, but truly, I’m not myself. My very identity was intertwined with you, and although I’ve tried various ways to cover it up, it’s painfully obvious that there’s something missing in my life.
I hate that you had to leave, but I understand why. It was a toxic situation, and you had to get out of it. Things won’t be like this forever, though. I know you need time, but I have faith you’ll return. I’m not going to make empty promises and say that when you do come back, everything will be perfect. What I can tell you, though, is that when I see you again, I will rejoice. I will cherish you—every last strand of you, even the grey ones.
My Side Effects Have Side Effects January 25, 2018
Prescription hand cream
Smells like dry-erase markers
Hand-foot syndrome blues
Side Effect #546 (or I Miss Flavor) January 24, 2018
Miscellaneous
Chemical taste in my mouth
Tongue feeling fuzzy
Positive Mental Attitude January 21, 2018
Post-chemo mind haze
Vision: flaming undead bears
Defeating tumor
