The Lizard Chronicles

Some of this is true. Some of this is better. –Too Much Joy

Come Back to Me March 16, 2018

Filed under: cancer,Life tales — lizardesque @ 5:57 pm
Tags: , ,

I took you for granted, and I’m sorry. I hope you realize that I always loved you, even when I complained that you just wouldn’t cooperate. I know I was hard on you. I should have been more understanding. Everyone has bad days now and then. The good days far outweighed the bad in your case. I should have appreciated that more than I did, rather than focusing on those few times when I just couldn’t deal with you. I guess I was frustrated because I cared for you and nurtured you the best I could, but sometimes you just did whatever you wanted, refusing to meet me even halfway. Still, I had it so good with you, and it took the threat of your leaving for me to realize that. By then it was too late. I savored our last days together, sadly knowing there was nothing I could do to make you stay.

 

You can’t possibly know how much I miss you—not just for your beauty but for your warmth, your soft embrace, the way you protected me, both physically and emotionally. Anything else is a poor substitute. I’ve managed to go on without you, but truly, I’m not myself. My very identity was intertwined with you, and although I’ve tried various ways to cover it up, it’s painfully obvious that there’s something missing in my life.

 

I hate that you had to leave, but I understand why. It was a toxic situation, and you had to get out of it. Things won’t be like this forever, though. I know you need time, but I have faith you’ll return. I’m not going to make empty promises and say that when you do come back, everything will be perfect. What I can tell you, though, is that when I see you again, I will rejoice. I will cherish you—every last strand of you, even the grey ones.

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Strange Things March 7, 2018

Filed under: Life tales,Poetry,Writing — lizardesque @ 7:45 pm
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Baldness and nosebleeds

Is telekinesis next?

Who wants an Eggo?

 

Sister November 1, 2013

Filed under: Life tales,Poetry,Writing — lizardesque @ 5:06 pm
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We have been friends

Seemingly forever

Certainly longer

Than either of us like to admit

Different mothers, different fathers

But sisters nevertheless

I can scarcely believe I lived

Almost eighteen years before knowing you

Before we put our heads together

And made the “mind-meld” noise

Somehow, we both instinctively knew

 

When you told me about the cancer

I cried and cried

And then chided myself

For not being the pillar of strength

That you might need

Although the prognosis was good

I let myself think just for a second

Of life without you

And I could not breathe

 

You will be okay

Because I said so

Because you have to be

There is no other option

The position of my best friend

Has been forever filled

 

Some day, when our hair is gray

And we are older than we’ll ever admit

We will sit in our rocking chairs

Or perhaps on barstools

Sharing stories told a thousand times over

Better and more elaborate with each telling

 

Roommates as fire hazards

Houseguests who won’t leave

Landlords who would have us

Shower in the dark

But sleep with the lights on

Dodging our own proverbial bullets

Feeding marshmallows to alligators

And using coconuts as sound effects

 

Then

When we stop laughing

And feel good and rested

We will rise

Give each other that knowing glance

And set off together

In search of more tales to tell

Capers to be thoroughly lived

And retold with embellishment

Ad infinitum

 

Originally published in the Journal of Ordinary Thought, October 2013

P.S. She is doing fine! 🙂