The Lizard Chronicles

Some of this is true. Some of this is better. –Too Much Joy

This Is Not a Passive-Aggressive Post January 31, 2012

Filed under: Psychology,Rants — lizardesque @ 6:18 pm
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Odd things annoy me. It’s my own fault. I let them get to me. Then again, I have started to think of all of life’s little mishaps and annoyances as potential blog fodder, which I can hopefully use to amuse and entertain.

One of my odd annoyances came to the forefront of my mind last night while I was listening to the radio. A McDonald’s commercial played. In it, a woman asks a man what he wanted to do for dinner that evening. The man responded that he wanted fruit and oatmeal from McDonald’s. The woman got annoyed and said that she admitted she was wrong when she said that you could only get said oatmeal concoction during breakfast hours, and did he have to keep passive-aggressively throwing it in her face?

Now THAT is passivity

The writing in most advertisements makes me want to bang my head against something unyielding, and this was no exception. This commercial might not faze most people because, as I hear the term misused so often, it seems to me that most people do not know what passive-aggressive actually means. Many times when people say “passive-aggressive,” what they really mean is snide, manipulative, underhanded, or just plain douchey.  In fact, a lot of people might think that this post is passive-aggressive, that I’m actually trying to get the message about the misuse of passive-aggressive out to a specific person or people without confronting him/her/them directly. Nope. Even if I were secretly directing this post at someone or some people, it would not be passive-aggression. Passive-aggression is not simply being nonconfrontational. Passive-aggression is aggression through passivity (that is, not doing something).

For example, badmouthing a coworker you dislike but never directly confronting him/her about the issues between you is NOT passive-aggression. It’s not directly confrontational, but it’s not passive, and it’s not even particularly subtle. On the other hand, giving your husband the silent treatment because he did not take out the garbage is a form of passive-aggression. Here are a few other examples of what is and is not passive-aggression.

  • When one of my former housemates did not do her share of household chores, that could have been construed as passive-aggression on her part (although, in truth, I do believe it was just laziness and slovenliness). My other housemate and I placing the vacuum cleaner in the center of her bed was definitely not passive-aggression.
  • When I correct restaurant chalkboard signs that have errors in grammar and punctuation, this is not passive-aggression. If I avoid eating at establishments with errors on their signs in hopes that I will drive them out of business, that is passive-aggression.
  • “Forgetting” your deadline and not completing your project because you feel under-appreciated at work is passive-aggressive. Anonymously posting pictures of your boss on the Internet and labeling them “Chronic Bed-wetter” in large, red letters is not passive-aggressive.
  • None of these or these are passive-aggressive. I’m also pretty sure that no one posting on actually knows that passive-aggression is.
  • Not reading my blog because you think I can be a preachy know-it-all and don’t want to encourage that is passive-aggression. 🙂

So Help Me, Flying Spaghetti Monster August 21, 2011

Filed under: Rants — lizardesque @ 4:07 pm
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I shouldn’t let stupid e-mail forwards piss me off, but sometimes I just can’t help it. I received this lovely piece of asininity today.

This is by a daughter of a murdered couple in Raytown , MO ,
She says:

When I had to testify at the murder trial of my  parents  a week ago, I was asked to raise my right hand…
The bailiff started out “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

I stood there and waited but she said nothing. She said “Do you?”

I was so stunned I blurted out “What happened to “so help me God’?”

She came back with “Do you?” I replied yes, but I was perplexed.

Then the judge said ….   “You can say that if you want to.”

I stopped, raised my right hand, and finished with “So help me God!”

I told my son and daughter that when  it came time for them to testify, they should do the same.

I don’t know what can be done about it, but it’s time for us to step up and DO something.

NBC this morning had a poll on this question.. They had the highest number of responses that they
have ever had for one of their polls, and the percentage was the same as this:

86%  to  keep  the words, 14% against. That is a pretty ‘commanding’ public response.

I was asked to  send this on if I agreed or  delete if I didn’t .

Now it is your turn.. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.  

Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a  mess about having
“In God We Trust” on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Why is the world catering to this 14%?

If you agree, pass this  on, if not, simply delete….

In God We Trust
If You Choose To Delete
Perhaps Then You   Are Part Of The Problem  

Me? I’m Passing It On.  
It seems to get  worse daily.

You see, this e-mail and I got off on the wrong foot right away. Telling me what to do, agree or delete, makes it that much more likely that, if I don’t agree, I will not just delete, but I will hit “reply all” to say just what I think of this tripe and then blog about it later.

According to, there is a mixture of truth and myth to the story underlying this e-mail, but to me, the truth or untruth of it is irrelevant. The fact that people keep forwarding it tells me that enough people believe in its message to perpetuate it. In short, the opinions of that 14% don’t matter. We should be forced to swear to a being we don’t believe in, use money that states we trust in something we don’t believe in, and swear a pledge that states we are under watch of a mythical being. Oh, but majority rules, right?

Let’s imagine of the numbers in this story were reversed, and 86% of people indicated that they did not believe in God. Would it be right to make the 14% who did swear in court that there is no God, use money that stated “God is a myth,” or swear a pledge to state that God does not exist? Hmmm, it seems a bit different when things are turned around, doesn’t it?


Pajama Snobbery June 26, 2011

Filed under: Clothing,culture,Rants — lizardesque @ 8:19 pm
Tags: , ,

Let me start by saying that I love pajamas. I have lots of them. In fact, should the stars align such that all my pajamas are clean at the same time, I have trouble closing the drawer of my dresser. Most of my pajamas have kooky, whimsical prints, often in loud colors. I have pajamas with sheep, cats, owls, peacock feathers, leopard spots, stripes, polka dots, and argyle (the latter in bright green and hot pink, often prompting my husband to tell me he can’t sleep because my pajamas are too loud). I wear prints and colors in pajamas that I would never choose for regular clothing, the idea here being that I only wear them when sleeping or lounging around the house.

From time to time, I see people wearing pajamas out in public. I’ve seen them at the grocery store, Target, gas stations, airports, and even movie theaters. Last night, as Ian and I strolled through Wrigleyville, I saw a woman in pajamas walking down the street. Since her companion was dressed casually, but in actual street clothes (t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops), I think I can safely assume she was not en route to a meeting of pajama enthusiasts. “Well, she looked comfortable,” Ian said with a shrug.

“I’m wearing a dress, and I would bet good money that I’m just as comfortable,” was my response.

It all got me thinking. I try to understand the mentality behind the decision to go out in public in pajamas, but I’m having a hard time. The way I see it, there are some situations in which wearing pajamas out in public is acceptable.

  • You are under the age of 3
  • You are a pajama model (kudos on the sweet gig, but you still have to put on real clothes when you’re done with work)
  • You had to exit your dwelling in a hurry due to fire, a gas leak, or some other emergency
  • You are in the midst of a medical emergency

This list may not be exhaustive, but you get the idea. Now, you may be asking why I care. What difference does it make to me what someone else chooses to wear? Not a lot, I suppose. However, if you try to deny that your choice in clothing sends out a message to others, you are kidding yourself. Just be aware that, if you are not in one of the situations listed above, and you roam the streets in pajamas, you are sending people one of the following messages.

  • You are dementia patient who has wandered off and you require assistance to get home
  • You are from a legitimate foreign pajama-wearing culture with customs different from my own (no, the counterculture you and your buddies dreamed up between bong hits does not count)
  • You are a lazy slob who just doesn’t care

But what if you wear pajamas in protest against society’s so-called fashion rules? “Rebel! Fight the man!” If that’s the case, I suggest that your protest might be more effective if you put some effort into it and wore something really outlandish like wings and lederhosen. Why? Because if you just wear pajamas, no one will take you seriously. We’ll think you’re a lazy slob who just wants to get out of getting dressed.

If you are, in fact, a lazy slob who just doesn’t care, then congratulations! Message received. 🙂