The Lizard Chronicles

Some of this is true. Some of this is better. –Too Much Joy

Passionate Aversions January 6, 2013

Things for which I have an incredibly vehement and possibly irrational dislike:

  • Cowboy boots and hats
  • Football, especially NFL football – I can make a number of rational arguments as to why I dislike football. I find it hard to respect a sport that has a season consisting of only 16 games and in which players do not play both offense and defense. People claim it’s action packed, but, to me, most of the “game” seems to be people standing around. Football minutes are like dog minutes–actually even longer. Gerbil minutes maybe. All that said, nothing really explains the magnitude of my dislike for the NFL. It’s not just that I don’t want to watch it. I’d really prefer if no one watched or at least if no one talked about it. At the very least, I would like an application that makes all football related Facebook posts appear on my news feed as pictures of kittens.
  • Flat-brimmed baseball caps – I want to bend them all. While I’m at it, I want to take all the damn stickers off too.
  • Armpit hair (on both sexes)
  • Unexpected stickiness – The need not to have sticky hands could be near the bottom of my own personal Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (or the revised version I have previously proposed). Not that there aren’t other reasons that I don’t have kids, but the stickiness alone could be enough to keep me from procreating. Why are kids always sticky?
  • French pedicures
  • Lladro and Precious Moments figurines
  • Dippin’ Dots ice cream – I’ve never even tried it, but it vaguely reminds me of Styrofoam and cottage cheese. I do not want ice cream to remind me of those things.
  • Golf shirts on women – In my nightmares, I’m forced to wear golf shirts, cowboy hats, and cowboy boots.

I’m interested to hear the irrational passionate dislikes of others, so feel free to share yours.


One Response to “Passionate Aversions”

  1. Christina Ott Says:

    I agree. But I hide all my Lladro and Precious Moments when I know you’re coming here.

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