Every summer for the past several years, my parents have had an annual summer party that includes a chalk art competition. This year, it was September 2. Unfortunately, attendance was low due to illnesses, work schedules, and vacations. Or perhaps, people were just shaking in their shoes about going up against the defending champion (yours truly). In fact, there was a shameless attempt to buy a win this year by my Aunt Liz and Uncle Ralph, who placed a $20-bill, a credit card, and car keys in front of their drawing!
There were only five entries in the chalk art competition. For some reason, how the contest is judged/voted has not been consistent over the years. Sometimes everyone votes. Sometimes judges who are not a competition entrants are appointed. This year, three judges were appointed, but after reviewing the entries, they decided, in an unprecedented act of wussery, that everyone was a winner and there would be five lifetime achievements awards given.
WTF are we in pee-wee tee-ball? Oh, everyone’s a winner. Yadayadayada… BS.
The judges were overruled, and it was decided that, instead, everyone would vote, but when the votes were being tallied, the biggest scandal ever to rock the chalk party was uncovered! There were only 10 voters but 16 ballots, several of which were in the same handwriting and ranked Liz and Ralph’s entry as first. Their entry was immediately disqualified. I am that proposing a committee be organized to rule on whether they should be permanently barred from competition.
After the attempted bribery and voter fraud, the winners were announced, at long last. It was a three-peat win for me!