- I don’t know the right people. You have to know someone on the inside.
- Editors and publishers have no taste (to any editors and publishers reading this, yourself excluded, naturally).
- I secretly fear success and subconsciously sabotage myself
- I just haven’t yet written the story that will open the floodgates of my success.
- There’s a conspiracy against me. I suspect it somehow involves Amy, that bitchy waitress I worked with one summer during college. I don’t know why she had it in for me, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she organized a movement just to mess with my head.
- Bad karma.
- Let’s be honest. I can be a bit lazy sometimes.
- Someone, somewhere has cursed me. Perhaps Amy has a Voodoo doll.
- Everyone gets a lot of rejections, and I really shouldn’t start complaining until I’ve gotten at least 100 more.
- I waste too much time puttering around the Internet.
- My writing is so smart that it goes over most people’s heads.
- My writing is not actually as smart as I think it is.
- The economy.
- I’m not British. For some reason, part of me has always thought my life might be better if I were British.
- Becoming a pastry chef is my true calling.
- Chuck Norris has threatened to kick the ass of anyone who publishes my work. I’m not sure why. I’ve never done anything to him.
- All of my e-mail submissions are being intercepted by gremlins that add the words snickerdoodle, parsimonious, and blubber to every third sentence of my stories.
- Everyone hates a vegetarian.
- I’ve neever ben grate at prooffreadding my own work.
- My shameless flouting of superstitions has caught up with me. After all, I have been known to walk under ladders, step on cracks, open umbrellas indoors, and fraternize with black cats. Heck, I got married on the thirteenth floor of a hotel.
- I have a problem with follow-through. I start a lot of things and don’t…
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Enforced by psychic alien ninja penguins. They will find you.
EXACTLY!!
dk